


Starburst

by PRllNCE



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Parents, Domestic, Feel-good, M/M, Married Couple, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-19 17:22:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13709127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PRllNCE/pseuds/PRllNCE
Summary: What to do when you've been married for a few years and children come into the picture?Step one: Have you talked about it before? Good.Step two: Talk some more.Step three: Stop pulling all-nighters playing video games.Step four: Strap in and scream while you can because you're going to be taken for a good long ride.When having kids is no longer just a concept, Keith and Shiro find out there's so much more they've yet to discover about themselves and each other. And despite every brand of emotion going haywire, they're ready to enter the dungeon of parenthood equipped with little else but curiosity, hope and love.





	Starburst

**Author's Note:**

> this project is very dear to me and i've been wanting to write something like it for a long time! thank you for stopping by!!
> 
> thank you so much to @swallowed_stars for beta!  
> additional special thanks to @izzythebaka, @snovalla and @kenshins_soul!

The sound of his clicking heels bouncing off the walls bothered him, yet he couldn't stop pacing. There was no space left to chip off on his nails, yet he couldn't stop biting.

   Keith hated hospitals. And he could list quite a few reasons why:

   The environment was too sterile; too suffocating and imposing. Not only are you completely at another's mercy once admitted into a hospital, but you're so scrutinized it's like you're locked inside of a glass box as people watch and talk at you. Your body--sometimes your mind--somehow doesn't feel like your property anymore.

   But Keith knew it wasn't really as deep as all that. Doctors are professionals; they're efficient and they help people. He certainly didn't have anything against them per se. It was just so terrifying to think about, especially when he was powerless to do anything himself. It was all up to them and he could do nothing but pace and bite.

   If it had been him then maybe he would have felt differently. Maybe it would have been easier to simply lean back and let them do their jobs, no matter the discomfort. But when it's a loved one, Keith can't lean back. He can't relax.

   The last time he'd felt remotely this nervous it'd been more of an excited kind. Not that Keith wasn't excited for his own baby to be born--far from it. Whatever he'd braced himself for just couldn't measure up to this concoction in his heart and his veins and in fact every fibre of his being; a mix of unbridled joy, dread, anxiety, excitement, nausea and everything in-between.

    Last time, there hadn't been any room for dread.

    Keith slumped down hard onto a bench that tried so hard to be inviting that it wasn't, nearly startling a dozing old lady off of it. Keith didn't notice. He just focused on an invisible spot on the floor as his restless leg tapped and tapped at it, and he tried to bring himself back to the feeling from that day.

   "Shiro," he breathed, almost inaudibly. The name soothed him.

* * *

 

Approximately nine months prior, Keith was lying face down on his cream-coloured couch cushion, kicking his legs slowly back and forth as he waited for the queue in OpenSpace to let him in.

   "Twenty minutes, my ass..." he mumbled into the cushion. He then rolled over and dragged himself up, giving the screen a savage glare with dark all-nighter eyes. "It's been _two hours_!"

   He flopped back with a groan. He was starting to sound like Lance--the one who had introduced him to the game in the first place.

   "It's taking over my life and I don't even like it. This is terrible. It's brainwashing. 'Just turn it off', I told him! 'Just stop playing'. It sounded so simple."

   Keith groaned again, a little louder. He almost didn't catch the tune from his phone, but managed to grab the thing before it stopped. "Yeah..." he responded lazily.

   "Baby?"

   A spark returned to Keith's eyes as he recognized his husband's voice and he immediately got back up. "Y-yeah?"

   "Are you okay?" Shiro asked with a little chuckle. "You sound pretty tired."

   Keith frowned.

   "So do you. What's up? Something happen at work... dooooctor?"

   A flustered breath reached his ears.

   "When _you_ call me that it's just wrong. And I'm a professor, Keith; the professor kind of doctor."

   "I know," Keith laughed. "But if I asked you to perform a check-up on me, would you?"

   "I don't know; I'm not a medical professional. You might die. And I'll go to prison for malpractice."

   "Ouch. Scientists are cold."

   "Astronomer's fine, thanks."

   Shiro sighed, but Keith could tell it wasn't in a bad way. He just couldn't help but tease him. Shiro really had sounded worn out though. It wasn't unusual in his line of work, but there was something different about him this time; he seemed anxious, although he tried to act like everything was normal.

   "Anyway..." Shiro said awkwardly. "Do you think you could come pick me up?"

   Keith shot up from the couch.

   "Why? Are you okay? What happened?"

   "Slow down, wildcat! I'm okay, really. I just... think I might have caught something and I don't want to start infecting a bunch of kids."

   "Oh... Yeah, no problem," Keith said, still a little worried. "I'll just take my motorbike there and your car back. I'd have to leave it there though."

   "You can catch a ride with me tomorrow. Your red lion can manage for a night, right?"

   They ended the call with 'I love you's and Keith jogged out into the hallway to get his jacket. He didn't even look at the TV screen as the familiar sound of a finished countdown played.

* * *

 

"Should've grabbed a coffee or something..." Keith said to himself after pulling the helmet off and shaking his hair free. He gave the bike a subtle pat on the side and slid off, wincing at the stiffness in his legs. All-nighters does no one any good, especially if they consist of raging at a taxing multiplayer game.

   Technically, Keith wasn't fit to drive after a night like that, but his confidence begged to differ--not to mention his concern for Shiro. But some caffeine would've hit the spot.

   He unzipped his jacket as he headed for the university. It was hot enough outside that he felt the need to shake the sweat out of his clothes, and he already missed the rushing wind from the ride there.

   Keith glanced up at the impressive structure in front of him. The main building was old and looked pretty classy. There was a certain charm to it that he knew Shiro loved. And since Keith had already been there plenty of times to know his way around the place, finding his man would be easy. People already recognized him on the way in as well, but he only nodded hello and didn't stop to talk to them.

   He found Shiro on the ground floor in an empty hallway away from the noise. He was leaning back against the wall and appeared deep in thought, his complexion somewhat ashen. Keith hurried over. At the sound of his footsteps, Shiro looked up and it was as if the sun had come to rest in his eyes; he lit up considerably as they both closed the distance and went in for a kiss. Keith's lips always curved into a smile when they kissed and ended up ruining it, but Shiro only found it endearing. Once they pulled away and started walking back together, Shiro asked why Keith hadn't just thrown him a text. He could've met him outside.

   "I figured you'd be here," Keith replied with a sheepish smile. "Calmer at this time of day, right?"

   He couldn't quite read Shiro's expression after that, but he looked distracted. "You okay?" Keith asked.

   "Huh? Oh. Yeah. I just need a little rest and I'll be fine."

   Keith didn't try to argue, but an aching suspicion remained in his chest that Shiro wasn't telling him everything. Even after saying their vows it could still be rough trying to communicate; they were both people who would rather power through than to relent and ask for help, so the fact that Shiro had come to him made the whole thing seem so much more dire.

   Keith decided not to press the issue for now and simply focused on getting him home. They'd barely left the parking lot before Shiro suddenly took a breath and laid out a steeply unexpected subject.

   "Remember when we talked about having kids?"

   Keith had to struggle to fix his eyes on the road.

   "Yeah... We were in bed talking about hypothetical things for like three hours."

   Shiro didn't continue immediately. For about a minute or two it seemed as if he were mulling over what to say or how to say it. Keith grew anxious.

   "What would you do if it wasn't hypothetical?" he finally asked.

   They stopped at a red light then and Keith leaned back with one hand resting on the wheel. Talking about these kinds of things wasn't a discomfort to him or anything, but the atmosphere felt charged this time and focusing on a conversation like this and driving at the same time left him feeling high strung. Considering the weight in Shiro's words, Keith wanted to pick his own carefully.

   "Well... My mind hasn't really changed, if that's what you're wondering; I'd love to have kids someday. As long as it doesn't make you feel too dysphoric."

   "You mean, for me to carry?" Shiro asked matter-of-factly.

   "Y-yeah. I mean, I'd be fine either way; whether through adoption, surrogate or you," Keith said.

   Shiro looked down at his hands and smiled. Light reflected off of his prosthetic.

   "I admit..." he said. "I admit it would be a pretty intense transformation for me. But when I imagine a little toddler with your eyes or with that wrinkle you get on your brow when you're concerned or don't understand something, I feel like I could push through any pain. You know?" he added with an awkward laugh.

   Something inside Keith's heart fluttered like a flower spreading its petals. He almost didn't see the green light.

   "I wonder how people know they're ready," Shiro said. "Maybe they just don't. Maybe everyone's just terrified and it works out somehow."

   Keith didn't answer. As an orphan, he wasn't sure what he could offer in response or action. If the thought alone was terrifying to people like Shiro who grew up with two parents, how would Keith handle it? There were times when he even struggled to believe Shiro had said 'I do', not to even mention thinking about children with him. A future like that with a man he'd never dared to think would love him sounded too good to be true somehow. But he'd also never known one could love someone as much as he loved Shiro. He wanted any future with him as long as Shiro was happy.

   "We can talk more about this when we get home, okay babe?" Keith said softly.

   "I just need to swing by the store real quick," Shiro interjected. "If you could...?"

   "Oh, yeah, of course."

   Keith took a left instead of a right at the intersection and they arrived shortly at the grocery store they frequented. He unbuckled his seatbelt to get out, but felt the weight of Shiro's hand land on his shoulder. It was clammy.

   "I'll get it," Shiro said. "I won't be long."

   A small kiss was planted right on Keith's temple and he let out a breathy giggle.

   Watching as his husband disappeared into the store, Keith pushed out a deep sigh he hadn't known he was holding. He contemplated the mysterious mood that had settled over both of them a minute ago and his mind looped a thousand strings into knots trying to figure out what was going on. Why had Shiro brought up the subject of babies again? Did he want to start trying? Had he changed his mind? Was he pregnant? Did he want to become pregnant? Did he _not_ want to become pregnant? Had he received a sudden epiphany and realized he hates kids? What if he wanted an abortion? Did he worry about how Keith would react? Of course he would support whatever Shiro decided for his body. But that would mean Shiro was pregnant after all--had Keith missed all the signs? Was that why Shiro felt sick? Or was he not sick and it was just mental exhaustion?

   Keith felt like he was getting a case of both after all the speculation. He couldn't help but imagine any and every scenario that could have prompted this discussion and it made him so nervous he could have hurled onto the pedals. But part of him was also thrilled; he could feel his pulse hammering at him from the excitement of the possibilities. He even had to bite his lip so as not to creep Shiro out with the wildest of smiles as he got back into the car. But Shiro was so quiet and contemplative that he must not have noticed, and so they drove off towards their apartment.

* * *

"So did this just start today, or...?" Keith asked as he opened the door for Shiro who weakly made his way inside.

   "Nah... I've been feeling it off and on," Shiro responded, his jaw tense even as he smiled.

   Keith's eyes found a stray fringe on the rug as he hung up his jacket, then darted back to Shiro.

   "Is that... why you've been getting up in the middle of the night?" he asked. At that, Shiro laughed.

   "That's _my_ reason for getting up, but at least I don't stay up all throughout."

   Shiro reached out a hand to smooth over Keith's hair. He let his fingers softly curve down until they came to rest at flushed cheeks. "I guess _I_ shouldn't be telling you this right now," he said. "But you should really take care of yourself."

   Keith pouted, but still leaned greedily into the touch. "I know... I've probably been kicked from the game for a while after abandoning the party anyway."

   "Turn off the game. Get some rest. I'll join you once I've used the bathroom, okay, sweetheart?"

   As if on cue, Keith started to really feel the effects of staying up. His body had been running on little else but adrenaline and slowly but surely it felt like someone was pouring cement into his legs.

   "Okay..." he said, stifling a yawn. He searched Shiro's eyes one more time, not knowing what he hoped to find, just knowing that he wanted to explore them. "Love you."

   Shiro's smile was warm and inviting. Keith wanted to preserve it in a museum of his mind with all the other beautiful art.

   "Love you, baby," Shiro said back.

* * *

 

Shiro met his own eyes in the mirror. Drops of water leapt from his fringe and chin. He waited a moment, simply staring at himself in silence as if searching his reflection for answers. He looked tired, but somewhat antsy--and still queasy.

   He leaned over the sink to splash his face again. His nerves were killing him. A second felt like a minute; every time he glanced over at the timer on his phone Shiro was certain three minutes had passed, but there was still a ways to go.

   "I should have gone to a drugstore," he sighed. "What if it's wrong?"

   Shiro clutched the pregnancy test in both hands now as he slid down onto the floor. The toilet seat was of course more optimal for sitting, but their bathroom floor could get pretty chilly and he just wanted to feel that cold. He decided to focus on this discomfort to distract himself from all the over-thinking and second-guessing. It worked, for a moment. Then the thinking resumed.

   Keith was 21 now; still so young and with so many things he wanted to do. While Shiro believed he wasn't averse to having children one day, that day was likely further into the future. Would Keith want this with him so soon? Or would he perhaps hold his tongue and drop everything for Shiro's sake, regardless of his own feelings?

   Shiro shook his head and slowly wrapped his arms around his knees. He didn't want this to become a burden, or solely a matter of responsibility. But there was no way of knowing yet; he didn't want to talk about it until he knew for sure.

   A heartbeat later he peered up from behind his fringe. His heart skipped the next beat. Suddenly all of his worries dissipated, his anxiety pouring out in the form of tears. In Shiro's quivering hand was the positive pregnancy test and the proof that there was something incredible and meaningful inside of him. That the test could be wrong didn't cross his mind anymore; he just knew, he was so sure now. He sobbed quietly into his legs, relieved, overjoyed and filled with purpose; he was going to be a father. They were both going to be fathers.

* * *

 

"Shiro?"

   Keith couldn't settle down. His body was exhausted and wanted sleep, but he couldn't get over his worry; it wasn't unusual for Shiro to downplay his problems. And maybe he wanted to be alone, but Keith couldn't quite read him this time--which only served to worry him more.

   He knocked carefully on the door and listened for a response. He could hear Shiro shuffling inside.

   "Babe?" he called again. "Can I get you anything?"

   The door hit him square on the nose and Keith quickly covered it in his hands with a muffled yelp. "Augh! Shiro, what the--"

   "Baby!!" Shiro exclaimed.

   Keith blinked the tears away. "What?"

   "No, not you! B... baby! A _baby_!!" Shiro kept on yelling.

   "Have you been crying?"

   "I'm pregnant!"

   Keith's hands slowly dropped, his eyes widening along with his heart.

   "I'm pregnant!!" Shiro repeated. Keith let out a flabbergasted gasp and reached out to touch Shiro's arms, eyes darting everywhere as he tried to grasp what was happening. That was when the reaction truly set in.

   With a victorious cry that startled even Shiro, Keith leapt into the air, pumped his fist, spun around and bounced to the other side of the hallway only to disappear into the kitchen, roaring still. Shiro's shoulders relaxed and he couldn't stop himself from chuckling despite his tears. He stretched out his arms when Keith came hopping back, and welcomed him into a tight embrace, laughing again as his beyond excited husband wrapped his legs around him.

   "I'm a _dad_!" Keith said, his smile so wide it hurt. "It's gonna look like _me_!" Then he took off again, taking Shiro with him.

   Should anyone look through their windows they would see a silly married couple bounding around their apartment caring little for the noise they were making. But it only went on for a few more seconds until they both stumbled and fell onto their couch with a final yell.

   They remained tangled up in each other for a minute, catching their breaths and letting the news sink in. Shiro was the first one to get up, although he didn't particularly want to; he wanted to exist in the moment and never leave, but reality dictated that they needed to have the talk. Even though they'd discussed the idea of children before, it'd all been just that--an idea.

   Keith was still feeling the high and was beaming as he sat up. He wrapped his arms around Shiro's and breathed out into a little laugh. He couldn't even have conjured up a fantasy where he'd be this happy; it seemed bizarre for it to happen in real life.

   Knowing Keith wasn't the best at reading moods, Shiro cleared his throat and moved one hand to firmly rest on his. Keith looked up then, his eyes big and starlit even in daylight, with curiosity and trust and love swirling inside.

   "Are you sure this is what you want?" Shiro asked. When it looked like Keith would respond immediately, he gently put a finger to his lips. "Really think about it."

   Settling down a bit, Keith squeezed his beloved's arm and reflected. He tried to push past the overwhelming positives of the concept, but whenever anything remotely negative came to mind it was drowned out by the cheer. Perhaps he was just feeling too drunk on the happiness, and he might not have the best judgment out there, but this time he trusted it. He believed in himself and his spouse and he believed that no matter the roadblocks he would never have a single regret. He didn't know how to convey all of this to Shiro, however.

   Instead, he ducked underneath Shiro's arm and wrapped it around himself before parting his wonderful husband's lips with his own. The kiss was deep, full of purpose and desire, and they lingered like that for a while. Then when Keith slowly pulled back, he locked gazes with Shiro--eye contact was often strenuous for him but he was determined to push past it to show his resolve. The Asperger's made it uncomfortable internally but the Scorpio in him showed only intensity outside. Shiro would always say that look won him over.

   "Shiro... I want this. I want you. And no matter what happens down the road..." he paused for a bit and his breath hitched. It grew insanely hard to maintain eye contact. "When I imagine a little version of you and me, something we created--someone we love, I... I can't think of anything more worth it."

   But Shiro was not convinced. "You wanted to climb mountains, Keith," he said, his voice almost a whisper. "You have places you want to go and things you want to do. You're an artist!"

   "I'll get a job," Keith said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

   Shiro grabbed him by the shoulders. "Just listen for a sec. You're incredibly smart and I'm sure there's a lot you can accomplish with your skills. But you have to think about this; are you going to be happy like that? A nine to five somewhere that you don't really care about? Are you going back to school? Do you want to stay home?"

   At that, Keith shrugged free. "I want to support you, and I don't care what I have to do to make that happen." He placed his right hand on Shiro's chest, over his heart. "And it's not too late for dreams, Shiro. It's never too late."

   Layers of silence and contemplation draped over them both. It left a very sobering feeling as Keith thought about the hell associated with pregnancy and babies; how little sleep people got, the screaming and the messes and the paranoia. He wondered what he had been like as a toddler and how much different it might have been if his parents had still been around--and how that would reflect on their own child. It was a taxing concept to even think about, but he'd never before been so ready to enter hell.

   The silence was pierced by a tiny sniffle. Shiro had broken eye contact and was staring down into his lap where a tear had fallen. When Keith reached out a hand to cup his face, Shiro looked back up and his expression was pained.

   "This was my dream," he said. "It's my dream."

   Keith felt a ruthless twinge in his chest and wrapped his arms around Shiro's body, hushing him as it quaked with sobs.

   "I just wanted to leave something behind," Shiro continued, sniffling and sucking in another deep breath with each sentence. "I wanted to do something meaningful, you know? And now I... I can."

   "Shhh, shhh... I know, baby. I know."

   "I love you Keith. God, I love you so much."

   How dare he, Keith thought as he too began feeling choked up again.

   "I love you, Shiro."

   "I'm gonna be fat as hell."

   Keith burst out laughing then, but it didn't stop his tears.

   They would have a lot of work ahead of them, but he swore to grab each problem by the balls; it was his baby, and his baby deserved to enter this world happy. Even as he finally got to lie down and welcome some sleep, there was one thing in particular Keith couldn't stop thinking about. Him, the dropout, the deadbeat; _he_ knocked up the one and only Takashi Shirogane. Read it and weep.

**Author's Note:**

> note about content: i'm writing about trans and autism headcanons as an autistic transman. thank you for reading!


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